on Writers block (sorta)

I can put up a number of reasons right now, the largest being Chapter 22/23 - as in distilling choice tidbits out of seven volumes plus is going to be no picnic and I feel like I need a sabbatical to do it, which doesn't exist. At least until Christmas. (Seriously, who would have thought the more difficult sections would be the ones you'd already written about, as in it becomes an obstacle while being integral?) The problem with the remaining third of the book is that it has all been written about before (well nearly all of it). And it all needs to be changed.

But the largest block right now has been the subject of the remaining leg; it's how no one would feel the least bit inclined to describe the intricate details of a grand conjunction happening at a distance when one feels the ultimate outcome was simply having one's heart thrown under a bus.

(yes @Billy, I'm referring to you)

So it is interesting having assessed this to be the block and having made an initial forge forward to right where it begins, to have said subject unleash the preambles of this new upcoming album, "Oceania", in pre-tour of sorts. In which he revisits the songs you mentioned years and years ago as having provided the touchstones that led to this encounter in the first place ("Pissant", "Frail and Bedazzled", "Thru the Eyes of Ruby", accumulating next to all those that have been introduced to the set since 2007 ("Set the Ray to Jerry", "Transformer" "My Blue Heaven", "Galapagos", those sorts)).

Having drifted away and viewing the next outcome with some trepidation (how encompassing would betrayal be; the future was not viewed with optimism), it has been a pleasant surprise to take the time to decipher these new lyrics. This wasn't what I was expecting; I thought "Oceania" would be a deliberate digression of sorts, a statement of artistic independence and newer loves and dreams.

I've ended up being in a very small minority the delay in release might actually benefit, but I've still so much work to do, with very little time free to do it in.

At any rate, spoken on the level of how it actually feels, the heart under the bus has been reduced in its proportions to where it should be (a vanishing point), because what exists here in spiritual common identity has always been so much more, is so actually groundbreaking, and means far more than the identity to be found in two hearts. It gives me the impetus to go forward, and imparts the enthusiasm of having something still that must be met (on time). It is more satisfying than the coinciding of beginning the Achtung Baby section (which was the beginning) just when that 20 year reissue promotion brought it to the fore and the songs were brought out for air right after the subject was explored for the first time. This is more satisfying because it involves the future/present, not just the past.

Suffice to say that every one of these songs possesses elements already written, alluded to in the book. "Panopticon" is its central concept, one introduced to Billy as far back as 11 years ago. I don't feel an impetus to list all the details, the book will answer all as a seamless whole. Why just the mention of the Holy Ghost and YHWH in one song would be highly significant is only thrown into relief by the sum context, his first revelation, our first introduction.

We're running out of present tense, indeed.

The future holds anticipation in this aspect, and for that, @Billy, I thank you; I didn't expect it from you. Help for the final journey. I want to be ready. If these are your first five, the rest holds the potential of great promise and in the moment that is very exciting. (Note "Quasar" and "Stella P" are actually two names for the same track.)

We still stand at a draw. I do not trust you. This just means denial in the future could cut that much deeper. I entreat just one thing, do not deny; that is all you have to do. But the first step taken is something to be very grateful for. It's even what I [inadvertently, did I have the wrong object?] asked for as the "end game". Well, two would be better than one. We'll see.

On an unrelated note: to the [very small] minority of people who view this, apart from the new release music related posts, every post is hyper-linked into the book, which would be best served by being published in pdf format, though that has a serious downside. It is potentially the first book that would be integrated with a website as well as its hyperlinked web references (which are primarily music). The narrative will stand on its own, yet each link is essential to the big picture. They make no sense in and of themselves, but serve the narrative as a whole, like footnotes. They are the original events, dreams, performances, videos and journal transcripts from which the narrative derived, and logging the personally written ones is a means of culling them so they can be reproduced on their own independent site, dedicated to the book. That is the intent, anyway. They do not actually quote the book. They serve it. When dated, you have the timeline of the book where it stands, as they are incorporated when the book arrives at that point, where the writing is in real time.