The Fairy Queen and the Wolf

Come with me to read a tale of present and future times
Deep in the forest, we see the books,
tis The Lord of the Rings
But no, this is not the tale
that we are led to read
Tho of present and future this too does speak
the Fairy Queen and the Beast
The book is opened, the truth revealed
and as I flip the leafs
As a spirit I walk into the tale
it becomes a reality
The Fairy Queen is dormant
her rest is undisturbed
Deep under the lush marshen earth
sounds are seldom heard
Her dark beauty is unsurpassed
by mortal eyes not seen
Her powers are great, but now at rest
pacified, asleep.
But the Beast never sleeps
he sees her, he knows
In his furtive restlessness
his power, enabled, grows
He is coming now, to take her away
far from her forest, to evils unknown
So when she awakens to a change so great
she will die, unless forewarned of her fate
The Queen he has hated,since times long past
Many times they have battled
tho the war saw no end
But now there is a chance at last
and victory, final is within his grasp.
How have we lived oblivious
until this revelation?
At home in our cottage in the forest realm
at peace and unafraid
Do your errands now child
the day’s work must be done
under the fleeting light of the sun
Do you think the sun protects
from a presence so evil as this?
Hear the wind, the stormy herald
something wicked this way comes
Fetch water now child
for nought is amiss
We have played in weather much nastier than this
Oblivious to oblivion
the family labors at life
Except for the child
for whom came this revelation
and who must now fetch water
The wind wrest the door from her hand as she goes
But to protect the oblivious
it must be closed
The wind swirls, it harries
it whips her clothes
Leaves blow in her face
her fear only grows
On the threshold she falls to her knees
Unable to continue, unable to breathe.
The Beast is coming, he’s coming
I can see him now, I know
He is evil embodied
that great wolfen creature
His fangs are poison
-but even worse are his eyes
Flaming pale, sickly green with
black pupils, cat-like slits
The power of his gaze
cuts your heart like a knife
and makes it colder than stone
Have you seen the Beast?
that great wolfen creature
Against him none can stand
They melt in terror
their minds shatter like glass
under the power of his lidless stare
The vision alone is too much to bear
How can I be saved
and withstand his glare?
I know the inevitable
under fear I am frozen
my will is already gone
His passage here
will break my mind to pieces
and leave me empty, utterly lost.
The nesting doves, the taméd pigeons
fly through the chaos seeking escape
I catch one in my hands,
hold it, cling to hope
and resort to the power of prayer
Please, let me see only the good of your forest
let me see only the good
The prayer is uttered
supplication heard
and in answer to this plea
The dream is shattered
I’m drawn from the deep
For to fulfill the prayer
the dream cannot be
For in the passage of utter evil
how can one see only good?
The awakening is to strange surroundings
far from home I take my rest
And outside the wind,it howls and whispers
–Of the passage? - Who dare guess?

At De Valowe in Holland Feb. 29th 1988 – a dream at midday

Commemerating the Thunder

(I just heard minutes ago)

Dream (Jan. 26, 2002)

Unicorn

All my life I've never dreamed of a unicorn,

Me, a unicorn dreamer, I made my angel archetypes unicorns,

Me, who always wished but the realist who never believed in them

But would idly fancy one cleaving the air through interdimension

on the green rugby field outside the class window,

wanting one to take me away on its back forever

But they're lost, I'd reply, belong to another place

And so wrote about last ones,

Briel, a pure and unstained brother

Had incarnations in every tale

Turns out his name is in the angel encyclopaedia (yea, there is one)

And now last night, I dreamed one,

But not without encountering some old beasts first

Last night it thundered in January

You don't know what that means

It never thunders here

I can remember three, maybe four, thunder and lightening storms

In the last decade, the others were just lightening really,

There was a vast circle hole in the clouds

All around us,

We were on a hilltop

And my wee brother was calling where the lightening would strike next

You know, the one who called me 'Sis'

Two of the storms have happened on the night of the eve where men have really hurt me

And did so wrongly

I was with the second one, he noticed

Thunder is that unusual

An immigrant and he knew –the timing scared him

How the wind raged all night and hammered rain –just the same

I was nice enough not to mention, this was the second time

The second heart break, and that was the previous time it had stormed like that here

How strange then, a single rumbling peal, descending lower and lower

To herald snow??? Surreal, can't be,

Except, this time is the first time, that I'm really angry

'you should be south', I muttered bitterly

(how useless)

Little wonder then, that the bitch is back,

Except before, in the nightmares, they were all male

The eldest brother joins my dream tonight

To help me out; assesses the situation with a baleful look,

-'you're dreaming black dogs again?'

-um yes, well, it's been a while

a long long while

it's apt

-didn't realize I was this unhappy

not even from the awful way I cried last night

remember the jackal

and what she saw

she dreamed it beforehand

they ripped the child to shreds

right before her eyes

and that was how she knew

the unborn was going to die.

It was a long long time ago

But not too long to forget

The hopelessness they came in

When there was no way out

Another time it was me,

Helping my brother

But the roles have reversed themselves

It's not the same as when they were too powerful

Autonomous invasions

that didn't belong

Virile, strong and wholly savage

This one is old and hoary, white muzzle

But a killer

She ripped out Cofi's throat (-think 'Amores Perros')

Before meeting me

Strangely obsessed

She won't let me out of her company

Nuzzles me privately, pinches with two teeth

Just letting me know

She could rip it out

Anytime she likes

And just might want to

Before, there would have been no way of escaping her

Or someone to return the favor

There would have been no way of tricking her

No diversions, my brother could not have succeeded

There had been no way when one came for him

You must think I'm forgetting about unicorns

Or when he arrived

But it was not his diversion

He was already on the scene

And I had brightened marvelously

Like a fulfilled child,

But then it's never happened

Though there's been the finest horses

And I can ride them well

(I did when I was younger)

He's very bold

Not willowy or frail

Not stocky but strong and built

With a spire much the same that can't be missed

It is only when he's been there a while

That I notice

His coat is blackened and scorched

Like he's had to come through fire

But when he joins me later

It's brighter than ever

It was just incidental

Like an incidental tourist come for other things

Until my brother diverts the hoary bitch enough

And says, run now, while you have the chance

And I do,

-down Richmond

Maybe it's a matter of choice

that makes him comes running after me

-like the dream where you came back

now it mattered to you enough

He comes

kneels down

and offers me his back, no less

I turn to my helper, dear brother

-don't you want to get on too?

But it's much too serious to ride a unicorn

He shakes his head

Besides, the bitch will come

Seeking her quarry

And the unicorn

Is there

To help me get away

Being on his back was like melding

To his body

I just fit there

Every line of my limb

Felt like I belonged

Riding him

Today

-is the greatest day that I have ever known for reasons better unknown perhaps.

Though I'm tempted to say the one thing that easily explains, and that is, I have recognized and taken 'Mu's' advice (to hell with the rest).

Circle round where you once began
Back to where you started
You’ll move much faster in the light kid
Accelerating all the bits of you to the bursting point of disintegration
No trace will remain to be uncovered

http://www.everythingfromheretothere.com/2009/12/11/mu/

And for that I am Grateful. Even to you. Adios.


Dreams, April 2010:

it’s been a week for dreams

notably vivid a couple times this week. (like the night before the PI hearing on the 24th)

Even if I had transcribed the moment I got up I would have lost a lot of that saga and saga it was. But in the vague-aries of reminisces of being sung to by some artfully created singing animated cow that could empathically reveal the same awareness in all the surrounding people (and there were a lot of them), I remember what was sung was recognition that transmitted to ‘everyone’ surrounding and it verged all of them to tears. And no I can’t remember what the cow as the oracle storyteller was saying exactly anymore, nor hardly begin to describe it, but it had to do with that singular event of spiritual resurrection and rebirth via love, and the acknowledgment of the hurt that had caused all this, and looking into my eyes and seeing, and being willing to say what it saw. And I remember that when the cow shared this with ‘everyone’ milling about in the background as I stood on a path overlooking a barrier of some sort at its pastoral enclosure interspersed with small trees and a gathering of many milling people, what the cow transmitted to them all as the sum of my experience brought recognition in everyone of a singular love and goodness that caused tears to well in all their eyes but not spring.

And my feeling of this emotion of gratitude and recognition in them all caused the same upwelling in myself, except that tears did not well in my eyes.

The rest -other chapters were the stuff of true nightmares where I was on amicable terms with one of my two antagonists and deeply discussing the present battle; he recognized the demonic propensities of the other, who of course -in the dream battling this one is analogous to what is really happening, but naturally in the dream the proportions of the confrontation were greatly magnified.

Two nights ago I dreamed of someone I never have which was PJ Harvey in a true glamour style beyond anything she has ever adopted, in a silver dress and silver blue eyeshadow and drawn, exaggerated brows; and she looked great in it. And I was actually lined up in a chance to address her. And this was in conjunction with her paramour of the time (prior circa 1998), and what his place had been in wheel of concurrent inspiration in conjunction with her own. He was in the dream too, but in this instance I intended to present the circumstance of him, to present her with…what was important. It was the first time in a dream where I tried to propose directly to anyone I consider ‘involved’ that there is a way, here, of proving there’s a God through concurrent inspiration, and that I must do so by presenting myself. It was interiorly hesitating, there was a shyness that wasn’t overt, but smoothly articulated as forthright and definitive as I can be.

That seems as good a place to start as any.